You Don’t Need More Options. You Just Need A Filter.

If you don’t know where to start writing your memoir, you’re not alone.

During my vacation, I woke up with the very clear realization that I’ve been too focused on doing more: spending more time on business development, learning new things, and analyzing data. My inbox reflects this. I’ve got a stack of emails, tips on how to use Substack more effectively, how to convert followers to subscribers, how to improve SEO, how to read my website data.

As I scanned those messages, resistance welled up inside.

I help women sort the details of their stories so they can find the one they’re meant to tell. And there I was, entangled in the weeds of my own stuff, recognizing that perfectionism and productivity are not part of what brings me joy. I quickly shut the email app and started to process it all, ultimately deciding to stay the course right now.

Maybe you feel this too. You have an idea for a book. People have told you that you should tell your story. You’ve lived through something that transformed you or the way you see things. And you feel like you’re ready to tell it, but you don’t know how.

Maybe you literally don’t know how to start.

Do I write in chronological order? Should I just start journaling? Do I need an outline?

Or maybe you don’t know where to start writing.

Should I start with the main event, my childhood, or the ending and work backward?

You may have other questions about how to deal with the people in your life, perfectionism, feeling exposed, or what happens if you never finish.

Every single one of these questions is valid.

And everyone can be answered, sometimes quickly and sometimes over the gift of time and perspective—having someone to see your story with distance because you’re too close to it.

If you have questions like these about writing your memoir or other nonfiction book, please join me for Book Coach Office Hours. The next one is Thursday, August 13 at 8:30 a.m. (Pacific). This is where I answer your questions—as many as I can. You can come with a question, or just to listen. Here’s the link to register.

I’d love to hear what you’re working on.

This was originally posted on Substack.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like these:

  • You Don’t Think of Yourself as a Writer. You Just Keep Writing Things Down.

    My son is about to get married, and in the middle of the countdown, I felt something I knew I’d want to remember later. So I opened a new file on my computer, titled it 260817_wedding feelings, and gave myself 15 minutes to write, which generally amounts to about 500…

  • She Says She Doesn’t Need a Coach Yet

    For the woman asking, “When should I hire a book coach?” I see a lot of women sitting on the sidelines, waiting to get into the game. Most of the time, when they’re being honest, they’re afraid to reach out because they don’t have a draft yet, or they’re still thinking…

  • How Do I Start Writing a Memoir When I Have Too Many Stories?

    My daughter’s birthday was the subject of a post on my Reflections from a Recovering Perfectionist Substack, and I realized that it only told a very small part of the story. What started as a blog over 25 years ago left out a lot of context, the parts that are hard…