You Don’t Need More Options. You Just Need A Filter.

If you don’t know where to start writing your memoir, you’re not alone.

During my vacation, I woke up with the very clear realization that I’ve been too focused on doing more: spending more time on business development, learning new things, and analyzing data. My inbox reflects this. I’ve got a stack of emails, tips on how to use Substack more effectively, how to convert followers to subscribers, how to improve SEO, how to read my website data.

As I scanned those messages, resistance welled up inside.

I help women sort the details of their stories so they can find the one they’re meant to tell. And there I was, entangled in the weeds of my own stuff, recognizing that perfectionism and productivity are not part of what brings me joy. I quickly shut the email app and started to process it all, ultimately deciding to stay the course right now.

Maybe you feel this too. You have an idea for a book. People have told you that you should tell your story. You’ve lived through something that transformed you or the way you see things. And you feel like you’re ready to tell it, but you don’t know how.

Maybe you literally don’t know how to start.

Do I write in chronological order? Should I just start journaling? Do I need an outline?

Or maybe you don’t know where to start writing.

Should I start with the main event, my childhood, or the ending and work backward?

You may have other questions about how to deal with the people in your life, perfectionism, feeling exposed, or what happens if you never finish.

Every single one of these questions is valid.

And everyone can be answered, sometimes quickly and sometimes over the gift of time and perspective—having someone to see your story with distance because you’re too close to it.

If you have questions like these about writing your memoir or other nonfiction book, please join me for Book Coach Office Hours. The next one is Thursday, August 13 at 8:30 a.m. (Pacific). This is where I answer your questions—as many as I can. You can come with a question, or just to listen. Here’s the link to register.

I’d love to hear what you’re working on.

This was originally posted on Substack.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like these:

  • The Chapter I Cut

    I cut a chapter from my memoir, one of the hardest ones to write, and honestly, it hurt a little. Writing the whole memoir was therapeutic, but this chapter was harder than the rest because it involved a relationship that was very close and deeply important to me. It challenged…

  • The Role Had a Job Description. I Was Too Close to Read It.

    The parts of the job that nobody puts in writing. When your oldest son proposes to his long-time girlfriend, you think you know what “mother of the groom” means. Find a phenomenal dress that coordinates with the mother of the bride, host the rehearsal dinner, and provide encouragement and support…

  • All The Pieces Were There. She Just Couldn’t See The Frame.

    Claire came to me with a fully written manuscript for her nonfiction parenting book. We’d been friends for years, talking about the book on our walks. When I told her I was pursuing my book coach certification, she said, “I need you. Can I hire you now?” She didn’t need…