You’re Standing Too Close to Sort It Yourself

If you can’t decide what belongs in your memoir, I get it. I spent the morning volunteering at the thrift store, and I found a pair of men’s Levi’s for $4.

I would never have picked those up on my own. But a creator I follow, Outfits with Alix, who teaches women how to shop secondhand, suggested trying men’s jeans. And as a woman with a straighter build, it made sense. I bought them out of curiosity, and she was right. They’re a great option.

Alix has spent enough time sorting through thrift stores and buying for herself to know that they’d be a good option. That’s the whole job, really: distance, and enough repetition with the material to know what to look for.

A thrift store isn’t organized the way a regular store is. Nothing is sorted by what will look good on you or styled as outfits. It’s racks and racks of items that once belonged to someone else. Finding the $4 Levi’s meant being willing to sift through a lot of things that weren’t right and trusting someone who could see past the racks to what might actually work.

Writing a book out of your own life isn’t so different. You’re standing in front of decades of material, and from where you’re standing, a lot of it looks essential. You lived every piece of it, and none of it looks like it belongs in the discard pile. But unless you’re writing an autobiography, some of it needs to be sidelined for the one book.

The sorting only gets easier with someone who isn’t standing in your shoes. Someone who’s spent enough time with memoir and narrative nonfiction to see, before you can, what will actually serve the reader and what’s better left folded up in a drawer for another project.

I think about this every time I work with a client who arrives with a manuscript, or a decade of notes, or a story she’s been thinking about for years. She’s usually convinced the problem, not knowing where to start, is a fatal flaw. Inevitably, she already has more than enough content.

What she needs is someone outside the racks to tell her which of the $4 items are actually worth taking home.

If you’re sitting on a book and can’t tell what belongs, you’re not behind. You’re standing too close to sort it yourself.

If that’s where you are, Book Coach Office Hours is an easy place to bring the question. The next one is August 13 at 8:30 a.m. Pacific. Register here.

If you’re ready to talk it through sooner, book a Discovery Call. I’d love to hear from you.

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This was originally posted on Substack.