For a long time, I treated “someday” as a plan

On perfectionism, timing, and what helped me begin

Six years ago, I was stuck in a loop that will probably sound familiar to anyone who tends toward perfectionism. Should I write a book? Not can I write one. I knew I could put words on a page. The question was heavier than that. Was I the right person to tell this story? Was it the right time? How do you tell the truth responsibly when other people are part of it? What if I write it and no one cares? What if I write it and people see me differently?

For a long time, I stayed in the “someday” stage.

Perfectionists are very good at generating thoughtful questions. We are not always as good at moving through them. Someday, when I had more time. Someday, when life was less stressful. Someday, when something in me or around me felt more settled. Then I would write a book.

What moved me from someday to today was a one-week writing challenge. It gave me the confidence that I could actually do this. Around the same time, I was listening to podcasts about writing craft, and what caught my attention was not inspiration. It was structure. The idea that writing a book was not simply a leap of courage or a test of whether I was brave enough to tell the truth. There was a way to approach it thoughtfully. A way to work through the questions that matter before you ever start writing.

My hesitation was never only about writing.

That mattered to me because my hesitation was never only about writing. It was about responsibility, timing, and what the book was actually trying to do. I did not need someone to tell me to just go for it. I needed a way to think clearly about what I was taking on.

Eventually, I made the decision to write the book that had been circling in my mind for years. Publishing it changed more than I expected. It helped me make sense of parts of my life that had felt chaotic for a long time, and it connected me with people who believe books can help others navigate difficult seasons of their own.

Recently, that path reached another milestone. I completed my certification as a book coach through Author Accelerator. What I appreciated most about the experience was the rigor behind it, the standards, and the shared understanding that helping someone shape a life story into a book is real work and deserves real training. But the part that means the most to me is simpler than that.

A few years ago, I was the woman asking those questions.

Now I get to help other women work through them.

Over time, I have also come to understand something else. Many women reach midlife and realize life did not unfold the way they expected. Divorce. Health issues. Loss. Rebuilding. Identity shifts. The details vary, but the experience of standing in the middle of a life transition and asking, What now? is far more common than we tend to admit.

Sometimes the book you write becomes the book someone else needed.

Stories can help people find their way through those seasons. Sometimes the book you write becomes the book someone else needed when she was in the middle of her own uncertainty. That idea is part of why I recently started another Substack called Dear Kate: Notes for women with a story to tell.

Dear Kate is for the woman who has not started the book yet, but cannot stop thinking about it.

It still makes a cameo in her thoughts once in a while. Or she has notes, journal entries, maybe a few voice memos on her phone. She has not said “I’m writing a book” out loud because the stakes feel real. The story matters, and she wants to approach it thoughtfully.

If that sounds familiar, you can explore that conversation here:
https://dearkatenotes.substack.com/subscribe

For now, I am sitting with a real sense of gratitude. Six years ago, I was circling the questions. Today, I get to help other women find their way through them. That feels meaningful to me in a way I do not want to rush past.

Originally posted on my Substack.