Dear Kate began as notes for women trying to figure out what story they wanted to tell and how to shape it into a book. Those conversations continue in Reflections from a Recovering Perfectionist.
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You Don’t Think of Yourself as a Writer. You Just Keep Writing Things Down.
My son is about to get married, and in the middle of the countdown, I felt something I knew I’d want to remember later. So I opened a new file on my computer, titled it 260817_wedding feelings, and gave myself 15 minutes to write, which generally amounts to about 500…
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She Says She Doesn’t Need a Coach Yet
For the woman asking, “When should I hire a book coach?” I see a lot of women sitting on the sidelines, waiting to get into the game. Most of the time, when they’re being honest, they’re afraid to reach out because they don’t have a draft yet, or they’re still thinking…
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How Do I Start Writing a Memoir When I Have Too Many Stories?
My daughter’s birthday was the subject of a post on my Reflections from a Recovering Perfectionist Substack, and I realized that it only told a very small part of the story. What started as a blog over 25 years ago left out a lot of context, the parts that are hard…
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I Have an Advisor for Everything
I’m in my mother-of-the-groom era, and I’m loving it. But plenty of it caught me off guard, and that’s where my friends who are mothers of already-married sons have been so useful. I call or text them often. “This situation came up. What would you do in my shoes?” “How do…
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You Don’t Need More Options. You Just Need A Filter.
If you don’t know where to start writing your memoir, you’re not alone. During my vacation, I woke up with the very clear realization that I’ve been too focused on doing more: spending more time on business development, learning new things, and analyzing data. My inbox reflects this. I’ve got…
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You’re Standing Too Close to Sort It Yourself
If you can’t decide what belongs in your memoir, I get it. I spent the morning volunteering at the thrift store, and I found a pair of men’s Levi’s for $4. I would never have picked those up on my own. But a creator I follow, Outfits with Alix, who teaches…
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The Mirror Was Never Objective. Neither Is Your Memory.
For most of my life, I dreaded having my picture taken. The woman I saw in the mirror and the woman in the photograph never seemed to be the same person. I would look at a snapshot from a day I had genuinely enjoyed and feel a familiar disappointment settle…
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Before the Sorting Starts, There’s a Harder Question Underneath It
I’m prepping my own ideas right now for a second book, answering the same questions I ask clients about how to decide what belongs in your memoir. My blueprint process is adapted from Jennie Nash’s methodology (she’s the founder of Author Accelerator and the author of the Blueprint for a Book), and it’s…
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I Wrote An Entire Memoir But Needed An Editor To See That It Was Really Eight Different Stories
The proximity problem is real. You can’t see the architecture from inside the material. A story and a book are not the same thing. A story is what happened to you — the events, the sequence, the actual details. A book is different. A memoir is organized around a specific…
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The Gap Between Dreaming of a Book and Actually Writing One
How a Candle Shop Illuminated Me Why I Do This Work You’re here because you have a lot of material and no table of contents. You know something is in there, but you just can’t see its shape from where you’re standing. So let me tell you about a birthday,…