Is Your Gingerbread House Crumbling?

In this season between Thanksgiving and the New Year, we have many opportunities to gather, celebrate, spend, indulge—and overindulge! I’m usually all in starting the Friday after Thanksgiving, but this year, I haven’t felt that way, and I’m curious about that. (It could be the warm weather we’re having, which is more suited to sand and shells than sleigh bells.)

Today, I’m thinking about approaching the season differently. I’m working on what is meaningful rather than what I expect for myself or perceive as societal expectations. What this looks like for me is telling the voice in my head, “No, thank you,” or “Not this year.” Instead of believing I have to bake the most delicious treat for potlucks and the neighbors, I can bake what I love. Instead of going to every event, I can respect my social yet introverted-ness and choose a few to attend. It’s okay for me to stop and reflect on what truly matters.

For many years, I tried to make my life appear less chaotic and stressful by fulfilling all the expected holiday season activities. Picture-perfect Christmas cards, beautifully wrapped gifts, delicious baked goods for the neighbors, and appropriate small talk at holiday gatherings, but it was all a façade. And I was decorating the façade to cover up the mess instead.

Have you ever made a gingerbread house? In my limited construction experience, when the walls aren’t lining up, you add more frosting and decorations to hold it together. Then it looks festive, or in my case, decent, on the outside.

When my life was crumbling, I used the same approach. I just added more activities and stuff to make it appear okay on the outside. It’s a temporary solution that rarely works well for long and is very unfulfilling.

Now that I know that to be true, I accept my gingerbread house for what it is. I put the candies on that serve me and savor it, just as it is. This Christmas season, I’m grateful for the life I have and the lessons I learned. I’m glad there is no script for a perfect life and we are welcome to be who we are, just as we are.