Don’t Outsource the Wrong Thing
When I opened my inbox this morning, I deleted five emails after reading the first paragraph because they were clearly AI-generated. And while I’m a fan of outsourcing many tasks to AI, I cannot support “writing” major components of your story through Chat, Claude, or Gemini. As a reader, I deserve more, and as a…
The fear underneath the fear
Last time I told you about the woman who had been carrying her story for years and couldn’t make herself begin. The woman who’d told it privately but couldn’t go public with it. That woman was me, six years ago. And what I said was: I eventually figured out that what I was afraid of…
When the Packing List is On Point, but the Universe Has Other Plans
I just got back from an epic trip to Central Europe with my husband, including a Danube River Cruise from Budapest to Prague — and I packed a carry-on. That’s it. I am a minimalist packer by conviction and also by stubbornness. I know what I need. I know what I’ll actually wear. And I…
She’s been ready for years. She just hasn’t started.
Six years ago, there was a woman who had already written the hardest parts of her story in her head. Probably a thousand times. She knew exactly which moments carried the most weight and which ones she’d have to find a way to write around. She just couldn’t make herself out there where other people…
The Real Reason Writing Your Story Feels Hard
Yesterday on Substack, someone asked if “pantser vs. plotter” was basically the Enneagram for writers. Note: That’s nerdy writer-speak for: do you plan, or do you write by the seat of your pants? So I had to follow that thread to think about the real reason writing your story feels hard, especially for memoir writers. Naturally,…
The Part of You They’re Allowed to See
Portrait mode: on You know that photo someone else takes of you at a party, the one taken with no warning, a bad angle, and zero filter? Contrast that with the one you took yourself with the right light and 37 retakes? Perfectionism is the gap between those two photos. We don’t hate being seen.…
Living with Purpose
Why Sharing Our Stories Matters If you’ve ever wondered whether sharing your story is worth it — whether anyone will care, whether it’s too messy, too personal, or too much — this post is for you. I’m resharing something I wrote in April 2022 that articulates exactly why I believe so deeply in the power…
For a long time, I treated “someday” as a plan
On perfectionism, timing, and what helped me begin Six years ago, I was stuck in a loop that will probably sound familiar to anyone who tends toward perfectionism. Should I write a book? Not can I write one. I knew I could put words on a page. The question was heavier than that. Was I the right…
You may not be writing it yet, but you’re already in it
For the woman with notes, questions, and a story she has not said out loud yet Most women I know, especially women around my age, are carrying big questions. Have I made good decisions? Are my kids going to be okay? How do I care for my aging parents? What do I want this next…
What Happens After the Life You Planned Isn’t the Life You’re Living
A reflection on midlife disorientation, the fear of telling the truth, and why the story you hesitate to name may be the one that helps you make sense of your life. At some point, a lot of women look up and realize the life in front of them is not the one they thought they…
