Posts by Valerie Cantella
You may not be writing it yet, but you’re already in it
For the woman with notes, questions, and a story she has not said out loud yet Most women I know, especially women around my age, are carrying big questions. Have I made good decisions? Are my kids going to be okay? How do I care for my aging parents? What do I want this next…
Read MoreWhat Happens After the Life You Planned Isn’t the Life You’re Living
A reflection on midlife disorientation, the fear of telling the truth, and why the story you hesitate to name may be the one that helps you make sense of your life. At some point, a lot of women look up and realize the life in front of them is not the one they thought they…
Read MoreWhen Perfectionism Puts On A Blazer
I don’t know if you feel this way when you create, but I tend to do one of two things: I either get it out fast (a nod to my years as a public information officer and emergency management communicator), or I get stuck in creative revision. Now that I’m out of public service and…
Read MoreIf You Feel Behind, Read This
One feeling keeps coming up for so many women I know, and I’ve felt it myself: behind. Not behind in a dramatic way. Behind in the circumspect, capable-woman way. Behind on the timeline. Behind on what life is “supposed” to look like by now. The Script I Was Following For years, I tried to do…
Read MoreThis Is Not for Everyone (and That’s Okay)
I’m not AI-generated. My hair is gray and curly. My eyes need correction, and my wrinkles are becoming more prominent. I know who I am, what I need to do most days, and—just as importantly—what I don’t know yet. I try not to imply expertise where I don’t have it. I speak in the same…
Read MoreNot Everything Has to Be New
On familiar routines, losing your way, and remembering how to come home A few weeks ago, I took my dog on a walk, like I do every morning. Same leash. Same gate. Same loop around the dirt path while she sniffs, wanders, and does her very important dog business. When we were up at this…
Read MoreI learned something awesome (and I want to share it with you)
Since I wrote about the question I’m taking into 2026—How can this be easy?—I’ve been testing it in one specific area where “easy” feels… suspicious: writing. Because if you’re anything like me, you don’t mind doing hard things. You just don’t want to make it harder than it needs to be. Here’s what I learned:…
Read MoreA Practicum Note, a Skateboarder Mayor, and a Quiet Pat on the Back
Three Unexpected Gifts That Landed Exactly When I Needed Them Today I received three gifts:a disappointing practicum email,excellent storytelling from a former pro skateboarder–turned–mayor,and a perfectly timed note from James Clear. They may sound like strange gifts, but together they reflect how far I’ve come. A Revision Request and a Different Reaction This morning, I…
Read More12 Days of Christmas (Memoir-Writer Edition)
Every December, I love finding small ways to reconnect with my creativity. This year, I decided to give the classic “12 Days of Christmas” a memoir-writer twist — something light, joyful, and totally permission-giving with ChatGPT.This is what we came up with: On the first day of Christmas, my memoir book coach gave to me:…
Read More45 Years and Counting
1980. My plans for a fantastic summer vacation were derailed after my annual physical when I ended up sharing a hospital room with an 11-month-old baby in a full-body cast. Instead of kicking off my attempt to win the library’s summer reading program by reading the most books, I spent a week in the hospital…
Read More